Pirates, savvy?

[muninnhuginn]

Last night, the Disney Channel very kindly showed The Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Interminably Long Title (or whatever it was called). It even gave me the opportunity to watch it an hour later on its time-lapsed channel, ensuring that I didn't miss the beginning whilst reading to Looby Loo.

Jonathan Pryce, Geoffrey Rush, Jack Davenport, what's not to like?

Well, Adam Ant did a much better Adam Ant than Johnny Depp managed here. His swash did not quite buckle for me. In fact, I invented a game whereby I imagined other folk playing Depp's role: Mandy Patinkin reprising his role in The Princess Bride (another movie that's always succeeded in disappointing me) was a good start, followed by Rudolph Valentino, Antonio Banderas a third. I finally settled with imagining Antonio Banderas as Puss in Boots from Shrek II. Now that swashed and buckled, swaggered and oozed sex appeal. Depp did not.

And Mr Bloom. No pointy ears, for which I was grateful. Pointed ears belong to Mr Spock and to only Mr Spock. Bloom was quite sweet. Insipid, but sweet. It needed Errol Flynn. And maybe it worked better on the big screen, but I wanted so much more from the fight in the smithy between the pirate and the blacksmith.

Jack Davenport, who's a favourite of mine, both for Coupling and for This Life, was fine. The role demanded upright (and uptight), bungling command, noble gesture at the end. This he gave. It didn't matter that his desire to marry Elizabeth seemed to carry no emotional charge: he was doing that stiff-upper lipped English stereotype that just wouldn't have those feelings. He looks good in uniform too.

Jonathan Pryce? Well, I enjoyed his role as far as it went. It suited his age and his jowls. Very fine jowls. (Help! I've been admiring Mr Pryce since he starred in Roger Doesn't Live Here Anymore, probably my favourite sitcom ever. He was lean and hungry looking then, Mt Pryce.) I'd've liked more: more depth, more lines, more chance to believe in his relationship with his daughter. But, he fit the bill.

But the star for me was Geoffrey Rush, as pocked and reddened as Alun Armstrong looks in all his roles, a little chunkier than his appearance as the Marquis in Quills, but still superb. The disappearance of his flesh in the moonlight only added to his slightly disturbing attraction. It wasn't as good a role as de Sade, but he made a good enough villain.

The effects were fine. Not frightening, tho' I guess a bigger screen would have given a better indication. And this is Disney--was I really expecting terrifying horror. I enjoyed the transformation between pirate and undead and back again. Very nifty. The monkey, too. Neat. But the fight scenes did not grip me at all.

I suppose the problem was I wanted a coherent and vaguely credible plot, where the characters' desires and duties really caused them to act: it all rather felt as if they were plonked in down in a scene, did it, then wandered off to the next set. Driving motivation? Maybe they left it on the roller coaster.

Then there was the annoying pirate patois, savvy? Almost as annoying as "innit", innit? And the witty repartee--which sadly seemed lacking. And innuendo. It needed a real good shot of Kenneth Williams-style innuendo. A bona shot of Polari would have been fantabulosa.

And nope, it never actually got me to put down Saturday's Guardian and pay it my full attention.

Geoffrey Rush, tho', with skeletal bits. Mmmm. That's definitely my cup of tea.

Comments

[purpletigron.livejournal.com]

Fair comment.

What do you think happened to Will's father, Bootstrap Bill?

[muninnhuginn]

Now that's a question when I was only really giving the movie about half my attention. There was something about his getting the piratical equivalent of the concrete shoe treatment, wasn't there? But, since he'd handled the cursed treasure he presumably couldn't have died, could he? So he floated around at the bottom of the briny, trapped, until his son finally broke the curse thereby inadvertently drowning his briefly-resurrected father. That would be creepy. Perhaps the fact that Bill passed the coin on to Will broke the curse for him. I prefer the grisly end tho'.

Alternatively, Bootstrap Bill went off with his share of the cursed gold (minus the one coin) and used it to start a computer company. Might explain why MS products exert such a baleful influence: an undead founder and jinxed venture capital.

Or, maybe, Bootstrap Bill simply failed his checksum.

[armb.livejournal.com]

Yet another possibility: he floated around trapped for a few years, finally worked himself free, walked along the sea bottom (hundreds of miles if necessary) to dry land, and was on land unstabbed and unshot at the time the curse was broken, and is now alive and uncursed (like the pirates who surrendered).
The long title is apparently because they decided part way though that it would be a series (or at least have a sequel), and they wanted "Pirates of the Caribbean" to become the series title and needed a subtitle for this episode.

[oreouk.livejournal.com]

There is a scene they cut which is on the DVD that I hate that they cut - it paints Norrington and his relationship with Elizabeth in a much better way. They cut several of his scenes which changed him from cardboard cut-out semi-villain into someone a sight more real and likeable. Feh.

[muninnhuginn]

I forget just how much there are now tow (at east) versions of most movies (it's getting as bad as Quarto and Folio readings of Shakespeare) and any comments apply only to the particular version(s) viewed.

More scenes building both Norrington's and Elizabeth's characters would probably help. Evidently I'll have to do a revised review after watching the DVD.

I do hate it when really fine actors' talents are wasted.

[oreouk.livejournal.com]

With this one I don't think they did a version with the scenes reinstated (more's the pity) but they did provide the deleted scenes in the extras section.

[ci5rod.livejournal.com]

Also the DVD tells you that Mr Depp was going for Keith Richards rather than Adam Ant. I could lend you the DVD if you like, it's worth it for the Director's, Actors' and Writers' commentaries.

[muninnhuginn]

We did remark on the resemblance to Keith Ruchards. Or at least M did: he'd draw some meaning from the fact I thought of Adam and he thought of Keith.

And thank you, I'd love to borrow the DVD after Xmas: we've finally succumbed and bought a DVD player as a joint present for the three of us.

[yonmei.livejournal.com]

I've been admiring Mr Pryce since he starred in Roger Doesn't Live Here Anymore, probably my favourite sitcom ever.

I thought I was probably the only person in the universe to remember that.

But I'm afraid I barely do.

I suppose the problem was I wanted a coherent and vaguely credible plot, where the characters' desires and duties really caused them to act: it all rather felt as if they were plonked in down in a scene, did it, then wandered off to the next set. Driving motivation? Maybe they left it on the roller coaster.

*shrug* It was funny and camp and slashy and pretty. But you're right on these points.