muninnhuginn | That Daemon Thingy (2)

So, a good while back, I wrote a sort-of song/rap about daemons.

What’s Yours?

Guy in the corner by the name of Matt
Says he’s gotta a soul mate that’s a fancy rat.
Now fancy is as fancy goes:
This plague carrier’s black from its tail to its nose.

What’s yours?

Now Amanda’s poison, has trouble with men,
Has one night stands again and again.
She’s on the prowl, her best friend beside her,
So you’d better watch out for that black widow spider.

What’s yours?

Look out back at that pale-faced boy,
Long in the tooth; they call him Roy.
Knows veins and art’ries, knows just where they’re at
’Cos his hungry daemon’s a vampire bat.

What’s yours?

Shy little girl by the name of Tori
Gets right into guts of the story.
Loves her alter ego, treats it right.
Keeps her giant tapeworm tucked well outta sight.

What’s yours?

The bloke at the bar, he drives a truck,
He’s a tattooed bruiser who don’t give a fuck,
If you mess with his daemon, you’re all outta luck:
’Cos his compadre's a rubber duck.

They don’t inflate. (...usually...)

What’s yours?

[no beat, spoken] What’s mine? See that polar bear over there. That’s the one. You wanna... say "hello"? No? Later, maybe. Just watch out though: if you mess with me.... Well, you and whose army? You ever wanna pick a fight? Have you seen the claws he’s got... and the armour?

He’s my real sweetheart.

And you’ve still not told me what yours is. Scared or summat? Think it won’t match up. No, look, he’s a teddy bear, really, just so long as you don’t lay a finger.... Yes, you just gotta keep your cool.

Now, what’s yours? A what? Don’t make me laugh. Really?

That’s yours?

Last comes Samantha, once quite a dish,
Wouldn’t have carped if hers were a fish.
Well, a gold one it wasn’t, poor Samanth’:
Turned out her daemon was a coelacanth.

What’s yours?

So take care with your tankard if yours is a slug:
It’s hard climbing out of a straight-sided mug.
But don’t pause to complain, kick them outta the house,
The day you find your cheating lover’s daemon’s a louse.

So, what’s yours?

Actually, I did a kind of Reader's Digest Condensed version too:

What’s Yours? (alternative version)

There’s a guy on the telly by the name of Pat
Whose alter ego is a black and white cat.
Early in the morning, watch daemon and man
Picking up the post in their little red van.
"What’s yours?"
We asked Postman Pat.
"What’s yours?"
"It’s Jess the cat."

Mine's a pint, btw ;-)